"People didn’t get tested [for performance enhancing drugs in PRIDE]," "Hollywood" Dan Henderson (22-7), the last to don PRIDE straps at 90- and 83-kilos, told Sam Caplan in January. The convo' revolved around "Ely" Paulo Filho (16-0), and took a serious turn quickly. "Are you saying Filho may be a juicer?"  Caplan quizzed. "Well that’s my opinion anyway," Hendo admitted.  "He hasn’t looked good since he left PRIDE.  I think that’s what not being able to use steroids will do to you." In an entirely unrelated story... Filho's on-again-off-again WEC middleweight title rematch with Hendo's stablemate Chael Sonnen (19-9-1) is off...again. From the suits at WEC headquarters: "WEC Middleweight Champion Paulo Filho has chosen to withdraw from his March 26th title defense against Chael Sonnen after voluntarily checking himself into an undisclosed rehabilitation center in Brazil on Thursday morning, March 13, to seek help for a substance abuse problem." But, Tatame had documented Filho's intention days before. "I wasn’t on a good moment, had depression," Filho revealed to the Brazilian website.  "I wasn’t motivated to train, wasn’t training well, so I decided to do what the contract says and transferred the fight to June." Maybe it was something in the water in PRIDE, as they say. Filho's fellow PRIDE standout, "Cro Cop" Mirko Filipovic (22-6-2), misplaced his motivation around the same time his urine came under the scrutiny of American state athletic commissions too. “I was empty before fights, depressed, I hated myself," Cro Cop told DREAM's first press conference about his nightmare in the UFC. Later, on his blog at www.mma-id.com/CROCOP, Filipovic elaborated.  "The losses came from a lack of motivation.  I was really empty, I had no fire left in me." Cro Cop joined the UFC after winning PRIDE's Open Weight Grand Prix by knocking out "The Axe Murder" Wanderlei Silva (31-8-1) and submitting "The Babyface Assasin" Josh Barnett (21-5) on strikes on the same September night in 2006. It was the pinnacle of Cro Cop's career. But at his new address, Filipovic lost consecutive battles with "Napao" Gabriel Gonzaga (8-3) and Cheick Kongo (11-4-1), nearly filing papers for his retirement pension in the cage with Kongo. Of course, with three current UFC belt-holders having 43 PRIDE fights among them, not all PRIDE fighters have shared the same sudden depression and lack of motivation after joining the big show.  And, those who haven't are naming names... "I knew Dan would knockout Wanderlei [Silva]," "Rampage" Quinton Jackson (29-6) said during a conference call promoting his light heavyweight title unification bout with Henderson last September in the UFC.  "Wanderlei wasn't allowed to use that juice he like to use," 'Page explained about the 2007 Vegas PRIDE fight in which Hendo punched out Silva in the third round. Silva, known for his sustained balls-to-the-wall MMA onslaughts, debuted in the UFC last December versus "Iceman" Chuck Liddell (21-5) sporting a noticeably more svelte physique and a new, energy-conscious fight game even the crunchies at Greenpeace could be proud of. Now, Silva, the former long-time PRIDE 90-kilogram champ who fought Filipovic weighing more than the heavyweight, is openly contemplating a drop to 185-pounds. Anyone can peep my 16-inch guns and know I've never used performance enhancing drugs, nor experienced the withdrawal symptoms of quitting the junk; but, a quick perusal of the "Anabolic Steroids" fact sheet at the Center for Substance Abuse Research reveals depression, mood swings, and fatigue as withdrawal symptoms of "that juice", as Rampage called it. And, one needn't be Columbo to deduce that lost muscle mass is another clue. Fighters talk to me too.  The dish is that those who seemed to have bottomless tanks over seas, but suddenly gas State-side; like, say...in round three of a 205-pound scrap versus a lovable, but lower-ranked opponent, are minus a lab-detectable dose of EPO. Erythropoietin (EPO) is abused by endurance athletes to increase the number of red blood cells oxygenating their blood stream. It's Big Bear in a bottle; or, the canned equivalent to circuit training while wearing a snorkel. It's important to note that none of the athletes mentioned in this muse have failed drug tests, that I'm aware of.  I presume they're all clean. For all UFC fighters, their Octagon performance is their staunchest alibi or their bitter betrayer. And the most bitter withdrawal symptom of abusing performance enhancing drugs is the lube-less mind-fuck on your pride. One day your chin is high, standing atop a mound of crumpled opponents, tough mothers in their right, but confident in your ability, your stature in the world's toughest athletic contest. Now, the training regiment you once ate up is nearly impossible.  When you leave the gym, you have just enough energy to dread going back the next day.  Suddenly, you hate training.  You muddle through, sure the smell of blood will right your ship, but it's no longer in you to best a fighter you would've beaten like a red-headed stepchild before. Were you ever the beast you knew you were?  Was it ever you, or was it always what was in the bottle?  Can you ever stand atop that mound on your own? To avoid coming to Jesus, a man might scurry back to a place that doesn't ask for a urine sample, or check out of a fight that could force answers his ego can't handle. ...