The WWE RAW Review: Big Red Meh-chine

Last night marked the final RAW of 2011, but unfortunately the show ended the year with then fizzle of red fireworks rather than the bang accompanying Kane’s trademark pyrotechnics. However, the show started out on a strong note with the Chicago crowd paying appropriate homage to their native son, CM Punk, as soon as “Cult of Personality” hit the speakers.

As it turned out the Windy City had to pop twice for Punk after the original intro brought John Laurinaitis down to the ring, mocking the fan-favorite under the guise of honoring him in his home town. Their eventual exchange led to a Gauntlet Match with Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry each aiming for a title-shot in victory with Punk being given a match-up with Laurinaitis if he survived the scraps unscathed. I thought the storyline was executed nicely with one exception, as I never expected Punk to actually get his hands on everyone’s favorite suit but I thought it was lame to have him duped so easily. Punk is supposed to be an intelligent, crafty competitor and yet he was fooled by Laurinaitis climbing up on the apron and saying, “Hey, Punk! Punk! Look at me! Look at me!” I was happy to see Ziggler go over since I’m all for his continued build towards the top but the way it was done reeked of stupidity.

In between the beginning and end of the “Punk Plot” quite a bit happened as well. For some strange reason WWE decided to have semi-retired Booker T go over future-star Cody Rhodes. If the company’s goal is to show Rhodes as being so slimy he can only win through shenanigans I suppose I understand the point of having a “legend” beat him but to do so cleanly did little to show him as even being remotely close to a threat. Why not include a spot where Rhodes grabs a chair to hit Booker T and disqualify himself, then ends up taking the chair to the face after Booker T ducks and kicks it? The finish would have still occurred and Rhodes would still be seen as a cheater but minus the price he paid by giving up a clean pin.

The mixed-tag bout (Zack Ryder-Eve Torres vs. Tyson Kidd-Natalya) was uneventful other than Natty having to constantly adjust her top to avoid a wardrobe malfunction. It’s been too long since WWE has had one of those by the way but I digress. I fear for Ryder’s future unless his character develops beyond what he’s already shown. His “bro” segment with John Cena was painfully forced. Hopefully at some point he’ll shed the act so he’s not so cartoonish. I also have no interest in where the Torres-Ryder situation goes. Eve seems lost push-wise at the moment so maybe WWE is just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks.

Beyond that, the Miz vs. R-Truth feud was a given at some point based on their history and the way their partnership ended. Miz will clearly be playing the heel so I hope WWE allows him to add some complexity to his character by continuing his recent mean streak. An eventual “Extreme Rules” bout would be perfect for such a scenario to play out. Big Show vs. Mark Henry was also essentially guaranteed to go down with Daniel Bryan in the mix. It should make for a fun “Triple Threat” title-fight down the road. Also, can we end the Bella Twins’ tease and just have them throw down already? Alberto Del Rio’s preceding bit was so-so. I would have liked to see Ricardo Rodriguez struggle more with the announcing based on his neck, as it made for a great comedic situation WWE didn’t capitalize on. Oh, and Jerry Lawler’s comment about Del Rio’s ride was classic!

Finally the show closed with Kane explaining why he’d targeted Cena in previous weeks in an awkward speech about “hate” being a natural emotion people shouldn’t “rise above”. In my humble opinion there was nothing redeeming that came out of the segment or will come from the storyline other than that it showed by Cena is so superior to a guy like Kane (at least when it comes to mic work). For a minute I truly thought “The Big Red Machine” was channeling Isaac Yankem because watching him try to lead “Cena Sucks” chants was akin to having teeth pulled. It was that bad. His character has undergone so many changes as of late, including the recent addition of a welding mask/contoured mask combo that looks like one straight out of a documentary on “real life superheroes,” that it’s literally a mess and one I don’t personally want to see in the squared-circle. It would be much better if they let Kane drop the WWE Superstar schtick and be a regular guy who has some sadistic tendencies.

That’s it for this week. See you all in 2012 when we watch Ziggler job to Punk while foiling some dastardly plot by Laurinaitis to cost him the belt!

PHOTO CREDIT – WWE