There were lots of hijinks to discuss from last week’s episode so we’ll just start at the beginning. T.J. Dillashaw had been telling the group how Brian Caraway was all about his hair. At first I didn’t believe him until one morning before practice I saw Brian gelling up his hair Jersey Shore-style. He was really into it. He probably spent at least twenty minutes doing it. It was funny to everyone. So Akira Corassani was making fun of it and brought up the idea of cutting his hair. At first I didn’t believe him but sure enough he went ahead and did it. What’s really funny is the part they showed on TV was actually the second time Akira went in there. He’d done it before and Caraway stayed asleep but he wasn’t sure if he had gotten him that good so he decided to go back, but Brian was playing possum and jumped up to chase Akira.
I never thought it would escalate to the point of getting physical. At the end of the day it was just a joke and just hair. Someone reasonable could easily talk to Brian about that, like tell him, “Don’t be so girly, dude. It’s hair. It’ll grow back.” A couple of weeks prior to the show I had a damn dyslexic barber misspell “darkness” in my hair so I just shaved it all off. No big deal. Again, it’s just big hair. If he was a girl, sure, then that’s not cool but c’mon man…
I had no idea Tiki Ghosn’s masterpiece was coming. Originally, Tiki’s plan was to demolish Jason Miller’s Dodge Charger. He’s was going to trap it inside those barricades, like “Mayhem” did, but he knew someone in the construction industry who was going to hook up a crane to drop one of those big cement suckers on top of the car! But “Mayhem” started riding his bike and that went out the window.
Back to what everyone saw, when they pulled us over to tell us what was going on I was all for it! Diego Brandao, Josh Ferguson, and myself all grabbed the required materials so when they gave us the signal – BAM – we knocked a hole in the door and I followed up with a nice dose of fire extinguisher. Then one of the guys from the other team busted into our room and Michael Bisping sprayed him so then we couldn’t breathe. It was off the chain! The mariachi band was a needed bit of comic relief too. Some of the coaches were ready to beat each others’ asses. It was getting to that point. But the band put a light spin on it. It made it funny, basically reminding everyone that it was a joke and not personal. Plus they helped because you couldn’t see in all of the fire extinguisher stuff and you’d be coughing but you knew to follow the sound of the mariachi band!
I’ve gotta admit the jock strap-prank was all me. I used to pull that off all the time back home in Alabama. You get done practicing, you take a shower, and then you find someone and jump on their back, just rub it in their face and take off. I got it in my head I wanted to jock-strap Bisping, so Akira said he’d stall him, but when the opportunity came up I didn’t get to jump on his back the way I wanted. But it’s all good because my ball juice still got in his eyes, mouth, and nose, so I’d say mission successful. Coach’s sense of humor about it was great. He knew it was all fun and games.
I didn’t know he took revenge on Akira until I watched the show because I ran out of there! I had to go back to the training room to get my stuff but instead of taking the hallway I went upstairs then climbed down a cage panel that was holding up some of the promotional posters or whatever. That’s where I got the nickname “Black Peter Parker”. Went down, got my stuff, and climbed back out like Spiderman.
Clearly Akira got the worst end of the punishment from Bisping because he got my chocolate, salty ball-juice in his mouth. *laughs* He was a casualty of war. He had told me what had happened but once I actually saw it I was like, “Damn Akira…I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
After Bisping showed up with the Silly String at the house, the reason I was taking my clothes off while running is because I knew I was going for the pool and I didn’t want to get my microphone wet. Akira had destroyed two microphones so the producers said we were going to get fined if we broke another one and they cost like $1,000. Unfortunately I didn’t get to jump into the water as spectacularly as I wanted to since Bisping gave me a little love tap on the way there.
The fight between Akira and Dennis Bermudez was incredible! We went crazy when that one shot spun Dennis around. But, Akira started getting tired and instead of sticking/moving he started standing still, so Dennis grabbed his leg, got the takedown he needed, and choked him out. I think it was just a matter of conditioning. Even when Akira dropped him he stayed relatively still instead of springing on top of him.
That’s it for this week. Shout outs as always to my family and friends in Birmingham, to the Crimson Tide who may have come up short but we’re still gonna take that championship in the long run, my guard unit the 117th, my MMA home in Alabama at Spartan Fitness, my new home ATT, my strength and conditioning coach Tommy Eliot – T3 Athletics keeping me in shape for all my future fights! Chocolate Adonis is coming back.