Chris Jericho will be back on Monday Night RAW tonight, following a month-long
vacation suspension possibly due in part to Senate candidate Linda McMahon being afraid of offending Connecticut’s Brazilian community (all six of them). With would-be rival Randy Orton out on 60-day suspension himself and with a laundry list of other top stars MIA due to injury or suspension, not a lot of opponents come quickly to mind for Jericho. Sin Cara? Santino Marella? I’m betting John Cena will need something to do now that Big Show has taken his talents to Smackdown and John Laurinaitis isn’t around to abuse anymore.
Triple H is totally gonna get sued or something for sucker punching Paul Heyman last week, but I’d settle for Heyman just insulting him for another fifteen minutes straight like last week. Comedy gold. The slow (slow, slow) burn to Triple H-Brock Lesnar continues.
Vickie Guerrero is guest GM tonight, in case you tune in late and everything feels like 2007 and you don’t know why.
Kane is totally smitten with AJ. It’s adorable. Seven-foot pyromaniac stalkers making googly eyes at tiny, muscular, manipulative women usually are.
WWE.com is hyping the Prime Time Players, the number one contenders to the Tag Team Championships, for some fun tonight. The Players, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil along with silver-tongued agent AW, could start building some heat as they move toward a title match with current champs Kofi Kingston and (the possibly injured?) R-Truth. Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes haven’t forgotten about being wined and dined for a month by AW and then being unceremoniously ditched, so expect them to have something to say. I’m frankly in awe that I’m writing this paragraph because it means for the first time in years there’s a real-life tag team division featuring people who care about being in tag teams. This is a big deal.
Prepare to have your face melted off once again by the ROCK AND ROLL FORCE OF NATURE that is Heath Slater. God, I hope they let him perform instead of freakin’ Fozzy.
We’ll keep you satisfied tonight during RAW with lots of notes and corny jokes on Twitter, @FightersMMA, or you can catch me @4joncomas for fun on other days of the week.