WWE‘s big news for tonight is an appearance by none other than Cyndi Lauper, and that’s totally great except that we will hear “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” about 800 times and Lou Albano is no longer around to reprise his inspired music video role as Lauper’s disapproving dad. Sadly, I’m assuming Lauper will not be permitted to perform her legendary tune about the joys of solitude, “She Bop,” or her newest hit, “Taffy Butt” from Bob’s Burgers. Lauper is the latest of the “classic” Raw stars to be featured in advance of episode #1000 in July, but she’ll have big shoes to fill after a slimmed-down Vader brought the house down last week.
Aside from that we’ll be dealing with the fallout from yesterday’s No Way Out, which featured John Laurinaitis being fiiiirrrrrrreeed and put through the Spanish announce table by John Cena that I don’t understand why no one’s thought to move to a different spot. We may get a new authority figure that will almost certainly turn out to be Triple H or a McMahon or just Laurinaitis again with a new made-up title. Hooray.
There’s just about no way Brock Lesnar is going to blow one of his limited contractual appearances by showing up tonight, but his representative Paul Heyman may be around to reply to Triple H’s Summerslam challenge and update the status of Lesnar’s storyline lawsuit against WWE.
AJ slyly helped keep the WWE Championship with CM Punk last night, but the love quadrangle between the two of them, Daniel Bryan, and Kane remains unresolved. Tonight she will reveal that this whole time she has been in love with me, and then I will appear and we will hold hands and engage in makeouts in front of EVERYBODY.
RAW is at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum tonight, Zack Ryder‘s home turf. Ryder’s absence for almost all last night’s pay-per-view as well as from most TV shows over the last couple weeks have not gone unnoticed, as the “We Want Ryder” chants that WWE can’t make fade away continued throughout much of No Way Out.
Catch you tonight at 9:00 PM eastern.
PHOTO CREDIT - Cyndilauper.com