Vince McMahon, David Otunga, and What It Takes to "Be a STAR"

At a Be A Star Alliance anti-bullying event at a Hartford, Connecticut YMCA, WWE‘s official caffeine ambassador, David Otunga, waxed philosophical on how his conniving TV character represents more of a what not to do.

“I hate to say it but I was part of this group called the Nexus and we did bullying for the better part of a year. We pretty much bullied the entire roster,” Otunga said during a q&a with students. “In WWE we see a lot of times there’s bullying and people will bully somebody else but it never works out well for the bullies in the end.”

Otunga’s doing a good job here of presenting the company position, which is the simplest and most meaningful way of explaining pro wrestling morality to kids or anyone. The Be A Star campaign’s message is admirable and roster members from Otunga to Sheamus to The Miz have served as eloquent spokespeople for it. The Boss himself, however, seems to be less concerned about his own role in keeping their message straight.

Monday night on RAW it was made clear again Vince McMahon wants you to think that he is like James Bond, John Shaft, and Walt Disney rolled into one grayish-orange package. His brilliance and coolness are beyond question for anyone who meets him on TV. He thrilled the live crowd by driving John Laurinaitis‘s scooter off a cliff. He ripped off the catchphrases of Brodus Clay and Zack Ryder and apparently he gets to dance with Naomi and Cameron whenever he wants.

I would rather never mention the latest moment in Jim Ross humiliation, and instead let it fade into the obscurity it should never have left, but this is kind of my point. Vince yukking it up with Hornswoggle over a horrific impression of Ross was the closest I’ve been for a long time to quitting wrestling forever and unfollowing everyone on Twitter, even AJ and the Iron Sheik, and then going off to live in a log cabin somewhere with no wireless. Vince’s wife is running for US Senate, and if basic decency fails him, a capable political consultant might have convinced Vince to act like a human being while performing on national TV from his home state, but there he is on my TV mocking a venerated employee’s nervous disorder.

Later on, Vince took verbal cheap shots at Daniel Bryan that culminated in an oh-snap line about how amazing Vince’s manhood is, because it’s important that you know how amazing Vince’s junk is. I don’t even have the time.

Good-guy Vince is much worse than the villainous boss that screwed with Steve Austin and bullied one-legged Zach Gowen, because all the good guys like CM Punk and John Cena who should be calling him out on his sh*t are scripted to laugh along instead like latter-day Patterson and Brisco. Sorry, Otunga, but the bully here is never going to get his comeuppance. It’s going to work out just fine for Vince in the end, because rule number one is that Vince is the smartest and awesomest.

Disagree? YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRREED!!!

PHOTO CREDIT – WWE