The good news for Funkasaurus fans is that Brodus Clay made a valiant showing in a main event matchup against a veteran star. The bad news is that guy turned out to be the newly vengeful, don’t-give-a-f*ck Big Show, who demolished Clay, R-Truth, and Kofi Kingston. Well, Clay had to get his ass kicked sometime and they found a really great way to go about it.
The sudden beef between Big Show and Clay–and Truth and Kingston, a seed also cleverly planted in Show’s night-opening promo–was certainly unexpected, but legitimate. In fact, as I’ve generally been kind of negative on the big guy, when his “firing” happened and they immediately cut to the Funkadactyls’ “Ladies aaaaand Gentlemen” intro, I remember thinking “yup, that’s the right amount of time to mourn this,” but looking at it now I’d be pretty upset too if Brodus couldn’t have taken a minute off his dance celebration to go check if he’s okay after a harrowing experience. I mean, sh*t, Sheamus bawled at bedside when Triple H got jumped by Brock Lesnar. After the promo, Brodus confronted Show (in English, not the universal language of dance), after months finally showing some backbone and initiative behind his jiggly joviality. And all that happened with one half-minute conversation! Character development, people! Huzzah!
There was a time that I would be sad to see Big Show undergo one of his frequent heel turns, so fond was I of the big goofy teddy bear character. That time was 1998 and I was 12. The last time I really liked Big Show as a monster heel was early in WWE’s zombified version of ECW. He wasn’t crazy or consumed with rage, he was focused and self-aware and mean and he bloodily (but not too bloodily) plowed his way through the likes of Ric Flair, Sabu, and Kane. With the exception of his time teaming with Chris Jericho and The Miz, when the vibe he gave off with them was less intimidation than world-weary defiance, his heel runs since then were marked by moments like trying to hook up with Vickie Guerrero. So I’m glad to see this as somewhat of a return to form for Big Show and I hope his character can use his bigness and anger while still keeping that sort of arrogance about him.
For the official record, WWE.com has an “injury report” noting that Clay suffered a concussion and had a few bruised ribs, while Kingston and Truth have various contusions. No report yet on Little Jimmy’s condition. That being said, I’m excited to see what a really pissed-off Funkasaurus looks like.
To give you an idea of how good RAW was this week, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk had another excellent match-up and I’ve taken this long to even talk about it. That’s what you call a stacked show. They were excellent if a slight half-step off from the rhythm they had at Over the Limit in my eyes. Bryan took this one with help from an exposed turnbuckle, and the possibility of a rubber match looms. Between Bryan and Punk and Tyrion Lannister over on Game of Thrones, it’s a good time for undersized heroes who battle giants, which is especially comforting for a short man when the NBA playoffs are also on TV.
Good thing Punk delivered on that match, because he had some real dickbaggery to make up for from earlier in the night in the form of his encounter with John Laurinaitis. Punk had a couple of real groaners, in particular an actual “mine is bigger” dick joke that deserves at least as much punishment as Evan Bourne smoking the weed. Punk’s WWE ’13 cover is cool-looking, but I hope they make the Laurenaitis cover available maybe as a reversible insert so I can support People Power in my own private way inside my home.
Other stuff: Prior to their beatdown at the hands of Big Show, R-Truth and Kofi Kingston defeated Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler yet again. Ziggler stomped off unhappily at the end of the match. Alberto Del Rio easily submitted Santino Marella to defend the honor of his ring announcer. Christian defeated The Miz, and Randy Orton RKO’d Miz afterward, for I have no idea what reason other than that Orton needs a replacement feud in Chris Jericho’s absence. Sheamus defeated David Otunga, and Otunga needs to start thinking a little smaller in his efforts to impress the boss. Alex Riley is really growing comfortable with his weekly role as Guy People Talk To Backstage Before Something More Important Happens.
Catch the Big Show-Brodus Clay main event non-match here: