WWE goes Over The Limit tonight. I’ll just get right into the matches since I can’t come up with any intro lines that aren’t distasteful jokes about UFC champion Jon Jones‘s DUI.
Zack Ryder vs. Kane (YouTube Pre-Show):
Ryder has repeatedly proven he is fairly useless against Kane. I’m more excited about Ryder potentially matching wits with Damien Sandow soon.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
Assuming -generously I might add – that the two teams in the match actually get kept together for more than a couple of shows, WWE may have assembled the deepest tag division in a couple of years with a whole five real-deal tag teams. Even Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks are still slumming it on weird-ass NXT while waiting for their turn to lose to a Funkasaurus on one of the main shows.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Layla (c) vs. Beth Phoenix
One assumes Kharma looms out there somewhere. Regardless, Layla and Phoenix are capable of putting together something good, given more than the usual 90 seconds that six-diva tag matches get. For proof that good women’s wrestling lives even in WWE, check out Kaitlyn and Maxine on NXT this week.
World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
Rumors are this is Jericho’s last match for a while as he goes off to lead his odd Hannah Montana-esque alternate life as a metal star, so he gets to have a good time bouncing off Sheamus and Orton for twenty minutes. Ricardo Rodriguez gets 37 RKOs.
John Laurinaitis vs. John Cena: No Interference, Laurinaitis Gets Fired If He Loses
The instant termination for would-be interferers seems to rule out a cheap win for Laurinaitis via timely intervention by Lord Tensai, David Otunga, or Eve Torres. I miss Laurinaitis as a grinning corporate caricature we were introduced to. The typical “mean” authority figure lashing out at “all of you people” is less interesting. I assume Mister Excitement loses to get off TV for a month or two before coming back as Vickie Guerrero‘s financial adviser or some sh*t.
WWE Championship Match: CM Punk (c) vs. Daniel Bryan (yes!)
If this is a reasonable, just universe, then this gets the main event spot and whatever they’re planning with Cena and Laurinaitis gets out of the way early. Therefore, I’ll actually bet this match goes on first and ends in thirty seconds when Bryan has a veganism-induced fainting spell. Because we are not allowed to have anything nice.
Other things to look out for: A Ryback, Tensai, Damien Sandow, or Brodus Clay appearance. Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella reprising their quick Smackdown bout. Primo and Epico hanging out somewhere swank. Triple H showing up to remind us he’s still there.
The show kicks off tonight at 7:30 PM EST on YouTube with Ryder-Kane before PPV takes over thirty minutes later. Make sure to check back later for live results and follow us on Twitter where I’ll be offering up thoughts on the show as it unfolds from the arena.
PHOTO CREDIT – WWE
WWE RAW Review 5.28.12: Big Show-Clay Funks Up the Main Event Scene, Bryan vs. Punk II
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Ryder yes, John maybe not so much. I was thinking the same thing hainvg Ryder actually get dragged into the hole, then John would have rushed over to help but before he reached the pyro would go off with John being knocked back landing on his ass staring at the hole like O.O end show. Next week Ryder comes back as a heel sporting a wicked set of trunks or pants or whatever with a creepy mask of his own. Also they should add some better details in Kanes mask