Tonight marks the final RAW before Extreme Rules, a PPV featuring matches between John Cena-Brock Lesnar, CM Punk-Chris Jericho, and Sheamus-Daniel Bryan. In honor of the situation the show starts at 8:00 PM EST, so with three-hours to fill I sure hope you like dramatic video packages and lots of commercials!
In Lesnar’s absence last week the task of tormenting Cena fell to John Laurinaitis and his newest pal, Lord Tensai. The man formerly known as A-Train pinned Cena after treating him to a face full of green mist (possibly the newest flavor of Mountain Dew but I digress). Lesnar is scheduled to appear with Cena tonight for a contract signing. Truly, such ceremonies have to be more trouble than they’re worth, especially factoring in security costs for the inevitable pull-apart brawl.
Despite the extra hour, WWE has nothing else officially announced yet, so here’s what I’m predicting: Jericho will accuse Punk’s second cousin of having had an Appletini once; Kane will menace a Zack Ryder, a Kofi Kingston, or maybe even a Kelly Kelly again; someone will imply Eve Torres is loose, probably Jerry Lawler; Jack Swagger’s haircut will impress me; Dolph Ziggler will bounce off of Brodus Clay like a wad of flubber in a minute-and-a-half match; David Otunga will lay down some plastic tarps on the entrance ramp so that he can glide to the ring on his well-oiled torso. Wheee!
Again, it all starts an hour earlier than normal, so make sure you tune in tonight to watch a completely necessary, professional contract signing without any chance of a physical altercation occurring.